Zombie Vote Solid for Ahmnodt Heare-Candidate Denies Trouble with Ron Paul

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Think that Ron Paul is ignored?  Presidential candidate Ahmnodt Heare is really ignored.

However, Ahmnodt Heare has the Zombie vote locked up.

Zombies for Heare

(pictured: some of the attendees at a recent “Heare Fest”; the striking young lady in the foreground later was seen handing out campaign fliers on a downtown sidewalk)

Pundits and pollsters repeatedly have said that Ron Paul has the youth vote (at least on the Republican side) and that probably is true.  Still, for Zombies Ahmnodt Heare is the only presidential candidate worth supporting.

Heare continues to deny controversial comments

Heare and his official campaign staff continue to deny that either the candidate or any of his top level operatives said anything negative about the Ron Paul campaign.  The Paul campaign has faced recent controversy over Senator Rand Paul’s recent endorsement of Mitt Romney and alleged incompetence by the top campaign management.

Reportedly, a senior level advisor to Ahmnodt Heare was overheard to say:

“Our campaign and Paul’s are alike in many ways, of course, and Paul continues to follow the econonomic and foreign policy guidelines Ahmnodt has pioneered.  However, we have strong differences in hiring practices.  Look, everyone knows we here at Ahmnodt Heare for President hire the Undead.  Paul hires the brain dead.  We’ve never done that.  We won’t do that.

Zombie hiring practices aside, there are other differences between the 2 camps. 

Heare is a Vanna White Supremacist while Paul is not and has been married to the same woman for decades.  Heare is proud to say he has been a Vanna White Supremacist for decades “…ever since I first saw her turn a letter.  I’ve got an original copy of the famous 1987 Playboy magazine in which she appeared.  When I met Paul I asked him what he thought of Vanna and he asked me ‘who’s Vanna’ so I’d say that’s a pretty significant difference right there.”

Heare agrees with Paul on the FED but says “…oh sure, it’s gotta go, the FED.  They’re a bunch of crooks, but they really aren’t the main guys in charge.  The real big time crooks, the masterminds are the Cinemafia.”  Ron Paul is considered an expert on the Federal Reserve.  Meanwhile, most acknowledge that Ahmnodt Heare is the leading authority on the Cinemafia.

Denies he’ll share any ticket with Vermin Supreme

Vermin Supreme

For months, rumors swirled around reports of several secret meetings between the 2 “outsider” presidential candidates, Heare and Vermin Supreme.  The meetings were very much under the radar and included only the 2 candidates and their highest advisors.

Last week, Heare officially stated he’d never share a ticket with Supreme adding “I can’t work with that guy, no one can.  Besides, he’s always promising everyone free ponies and I counted.  He’s only got 5 of ’em and one is dead.  I wanted a pony, just like anyone, but like I said you can’t trust that guy.”

Some analysts believe the two never could agree on who would take the second place spot and one account quoted an unnamed, high ranking Heare official as saying “…frankly, Ahmnodt insists on the top spot and we never would trust Vermin in the number 2 spot anyway.  That’s a heartbeat away from the presidency and there’s no way Ahmnodt ever would feel safe, you know?”

The REAL reason for the Heare/Supreme Split

WinLiberty investigators have uncovered the real story.

This was a tussle over the Zombie vote.  In reality, Supreme was sent in by operatives of the Republican National Committee to try and split the Zombie vote which both would destroy Heare’s campaign and give a boost to Supreme.

Neither Supreme nor Heare is a Republican, but Romney is running scared and didn’t want any new leader to arise…he wants to be seen as the only man capable of saving the planet from 4 more years of Obama.  A Zombie uprising was seen as harmful to this image.

Romney never figured Vermin Supreme mattered.  Guy wears a big boot on his head.

And  Supreme always has made it clear he’s up for just about anything as long as he gets enough money under the table.   WinLiberty has established that someone met Vermin’s price.

It’s really odd that Supreme thought he could pry Zombie votes loose from Heare or that the Zombies ever would have supported any ticket with Supreme on it.

Supreme’s policy on Zombies basically comes down to enslaving them.  He wants to build electric generators powered by unpaid Zombies who would spend their lives on treadmills, powering the homes and businesses of “normal people” as well as providing a lucrative graft opportunity for any Vermin Supreme led government.

Heare insists he’s the only candidate who truly embraces the Zombie vote and the one candidate whose personal lifestyle most closely resembles the Zombie lifestyle.

“Zombies feel comfortable with me.  We’re still not sure how many of them will be allowed to register to vote nor are we even sure how many of them there are; but there are more and more of them coming into my campaign office every day and lots of them milling around outside” said an enthused and optimistic Heare.

John P. Slevin

3 thoughts on “Zombie Vote Solid for Ahmnodt Heare-Candidate Denies Trouble with Ron Paul

  1. Pingback: Gaining Traction « Ahmnodt Heare for President

  2. I am concerned about Vermin Supreme’s “Pony for every American” plan. He would have to undergo a huge cloning program to assure that every American gets a pony. I do not my daughter playing with a cloned pony.

    • That’s because you are a concerned parent, a candidate all Americans can relate to and treasure.

      Me, I don’t want a pony. The sorry brutes stink, really bad. I don’t want any stinkin’ ponies around me.

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